Expect the Best

An interesting article in the Wall Street Journal comparing the parenting approaches between "Asian parents" and "Western parents". The author lays out a basic difference in the two views, namely that Asian parents expect the best and get it and that Western parents reinforce the idea that their children will be loved and accepted whether they succeed or fail, and then proceeds to champion the "Asian" approach. It's an unusual take, not least of all for the fact that it acknowledges, stereotypes aside, that there are two different cultures here, and they do have a crucial difference between them. I'm not actually sure what I think about it: I can see a certain appeal to refusing to accept failure as an option -- a you-can-and-will-do-it attitude that inspires the child to succeed -- and then ingraining that view; it certainly seems to have worked more than once in the past. But at one and the same time I think that it must be acknowledged that not everyone is cut out to be a chess master or a violin maestro, and refusing to accept this possibility could be devastating for that less-than-perfect child.

"A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin.

[...]

All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough."


Read the rest here.

Live Like We're Living

(^Best C.S. Lewis quote ever. So I thought I'd start with that. Because if you like nothing else in this post, you're gonna come away with at least something. :))

I popped in to check in on our blog today. Why? Because I should be reading The Iliad. But I'd rather blog. And as I wandered through all the posts that I have half-written, I decided not to post any of them.

But rather to post this, a charming and moving little video that I discovered this morning, because it's been on my mind the whole day. Because it warms my heart, and makes me want to dance for joy. Because if we all lived like this, we'd all smile a lot more, and laugh a little louder. Because living each day, finding the joy and the impeccable beauty in every single moment, is awesome.

I know I've mentioned the Book of Awesome multiple times. But I think it bears repeating. It's truly beautiful. It's a little reminder that today we've been granted 86,400 seconds to spend as we please. And it's a challenge: How are you going to spend your 86,400 seconds?

God's given us those precious seconds, He's given us 86,400 opportunities to immerse ourselves in the dance of life, to love someone, to make them smile, to laugh, and to seek out the beautiful and awesome.

"Too much of a good thing is wonderful." --Mae West.

(^ And I end, as I began, with a quote. Clive may have had better morals than Mae, but this sassy lady said some wickedly hilarious (and insightful) things. This quote explains why I listen to songs like this on repeat. Can't get enough of it. :) )

The Charming Young Lady

I just talked to someone today....who talked to a priest (Fr. D no less)...who told her:

We need charming young ladies.

Brilliant.

This idea is my theme of the day (or since I got it this afternoon.)

Having a charming* personality is needed in our society. It is precisely related to true modesty and true virtue.

*Coffee may aid in the attainment of such a characteristic :)

Heavenly Music

During the Christmas season the masses are bombarded with a multitude of jingles, ditties and songs that abound in good cheer, merriment and roasting chestnuts. However, the glitter and gayety of these songs that blast merrily away in shopping malls and on the radio lack what makes this season truly joyful. While it may make us all wriggle with delight that “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town”, it cannot fill our souls with the joy and awe of Christ’s birth. ‘Christmas cheer’ and ‘gifts of the season’ are glorified and celebrated for their own sake without the slightest hint toward the greatest gift that was granted to mankind, that of salvation from our sins and the gift of eternal live with God. Without the birth of Christ, there would be no Christmas season. Without the joy and grace rendered to us by Christ and his birth there would be no cause for celebration. In the hustle and bustle of Christmas preparations, buying gifts, putting up decorations and baking cookies we all too often forget to prepare our souls for this holy season. The Savior of the world is born, let us all raise our voices in joyful praise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS3vpAWW2Zc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXkgqpVVpTg

Magic

Magic.

Being lost in your own world. With music. On a bus.

Going from home to home.

People surrounding you can't hear the strains of Wagner in your ears.

The dark of the night world is lit up by the starry streetlights and cars.

The straining of the violins breaks your heart.

Advent, Week Two: What are you giving up?

Did you know that the average person does not give things up for Advent? Well, when a small, uninformed person like myself begins to discover this, what does she do? She promptly tells everyone she knows to give stuff up, of course. Then, they don't.

That's ok, however. She now has material with which to write a blog post. Basically, I am just curious, do you give things up for Lent? Think of this as a survey. No pressure to respond, but if you could respond, I'd love to hear your opinions.

Now the Second Week of Advent.This week has (unfortunately) had a stronger ring: only a few days left until finals. Those pesky little cumulative tests. Ah, the joys of college! Yet, only one week until its all over. So, happy studying and Adieu.

Advent: Week I

Subtitle: How God's Really Good About Telling You What You Need To Hear When You Need To Hear It.

Today I walked into Mass feeling frustrated and disoriented. There's so much in my life that I'm not excelling at, that I want to happen now, events and situations that I want to occur instantly. My perpetual impatience was getting the better of me again. I went in, thinking: "How long, God? Why does everything in this life take forever?"

I was wrapped up in my own self-pitying interior monologue, when the priest started his homily with the sentence: "We are here to engage in subversive activity." I snapped out of my trance and paid rapt attention from then on-I was intrigued. What subversive activity were we engaging in exactly? His answer: Advent. Essentially, his homily was about the absence of Advent in our society. Our American society is in an obesity epidemic, yes, but the real epidemic, the root of all these problems, is the epidemic of perpetual adolescence. We have lost all sense of self-control, of self-denial, of delayed gratification. We have to have whatever we want and whenever we want it-a.k.a. NOW. We have an awful difficulty telling ourselves "no" or even "not now, later."

Clearly, he continued, a culture that has this attitude has no use for Advent. And a culture that lacks the foresight to look to the good in the future, even when the present is glum, lacks hope. When he said that, the sadness of our current cultural situation struck me. How awful and how true-our culture is a culture that lacks hope. We grasp onto whatever immediate pleasure we can because all too soon the moment will pass and we'll be left empty again. Human beings simply can't live hope-it's human nature to always be able to look down to the end of the dark tunnel and see that light. Our culture has lost the light of hope-we're lost in the darkness of the tunnel. What an awful idea-a life void of hope.

As I listened to these words, I realized they were exactly what I needed to hear. My own outlook had been sadly lacking in hope, trust, or any sort of virtue besides adolescent impatience. God's timing is the best timing, and although it may be difficult for me to always follow, He knows best. Thus, my new Advent resolution is to join the subversives, and cultivate an Advent-like attitude of patience, trust, and hope. Engage in subversive activity: celebrate Advent!

Countdown to Christmas Day:

22 days

Reflections on Pizza...

College=pizza.




There is nothing more attractive to a college student than free food. Being a cheapskate in search of free food is part of what it means to be a college student. When I was a senior in high school, I witnessed a friend of mine, who had recently become a college freshman, stuff five packs of Nutter Butters into his pant pockets. I was baffled by his uncharacteristic behavior, and I marveled at the sight. His reply: "Just you wait a year." A year later, I now sneak food out of the dining hall like a champion. It's indisputable and undeniable. College is filled with free food, and more specifically- pizza. Everywhere you turn there are events posters using the magic phrase "FREE PIZZA" to lure students to attend events.
"Come to hall council! FREE PIZZA!" "Come weave baskets with the multicultural club! FRE PIZZA!" "Come to a lecture by Professor Collons on the biological composition of stars! FREE PIZZA!"

But why pizza?

Theory 1:
Pizza is cheap. Thus, the establishment, wishing to provide free food for their students, provides endless amounts of pizza, because it costs next to nothing and is filling.
Theory 2:
College kids love pizza. Thus, groups cater to the tastes of their audiences and provide what they want-pizza.
Sub Theory A) College kids like pizza no better than any other food, but the ready supply of pizza available to them has conditioned them to love pizza.
Sub Theory B) College kids like pizza because it is essentially cheese and bread-two of the most mild, basic, universally-liked foods known to mankind.

This Crazy Thing Called Love

Love is oftentimes thought of as an emotion or feeling that one falls in and out of at one's leisure. However, through my own limited experience I have found this to be untrue. Love is so much more than your fancy's inclination. It is rather a true desire of one's heart in conjunction with an act of one's will. It is often not expressed in the stereotypical manner of sonnets and ballads, but in thousands of little inconsequential ways that go largely unnoticed.

Love hides itself in the small corners of our beings and pervades all that we do. Love is present when we are awakened in the wee hours of the morning to a sister who is suffering from the stomach flu and is in need of assistance. It is in every skinned knee that needs to be kissed. It resides in every friend that needs a sympathetic ear. It rests in every thoughtful deed that is done with no expectation of thanks.

Love outpours when we make the decision to put others before ourselves. Love is the unselfish desire for the welling being and happiness of another.

It is in this way that God loves us. God so desires our well being, both physical and spiritual, and our happiness that He sent His only son into the world to die for us. Above all things He wishes us to attain true happiness through sharing in His eternal perfection. His love for us is so great that the only thing He desires from us is our love, as imperfect as it is, in return.

Joy in the Little Things

Barter
by Sara Teasdale

Life has loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings,
And children’s faces looking up,
Holding wonder like a cup.

Life has loveliness to sell,
Music like the curve of gold,
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And for your spirit’s still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.

Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been, or could be.