The Degeneracy of Modern Music

An eye-opening (and extremely depressing) video showcasing the way songs wooing women have changed over the years. There are not emoticons enough to describe how hopeless I feel about the fate of the human race right now. Where has the elegance, the grace, the not-using-obscenities gone?

Fashion Friday: Pinup Style Edition

(Yet another installment in our sporadically-updated series. Tune in for the next episode sometime in the fall!)

Speaking of the unrealistically skinny appearance of most models, I found this article about a trend in which girls take inspiration from pinups from the 40s and 50s, saying “to women who have grown up with the spray-tanned, skinny models as their beauty ideal, this look is new and refreshing, and even groundbreaking” and that it “'is a way of being feminine without looking like a little girl in pigtails and ruffles. Wearing stockings and high heels, there’s something fundamentally adult about that'...They draw on a pervasive nostalgia for 'more innocent days when sexuality wasn’t portrayed as so hard core and in your face.'”

It's certainly interesting, but at the same time I'm more than a little meh about embracing something that was originally about the objectification of women, even if it does involve a far more realistic approach to women's figures and a much more classy/glamorous way of dressing. You can dress in a chic and classy way without necessarily taking your inspiration from pinups. Thoughts?

Who Men Really Are

I am tired of hearing it drilled in to my gender that we will always struggle with lust, and that because we are visually stimulated we are doomed to always struggle with our eyes. Isn’t it much more likely (and more biblical) that any struggle with our eyes is first and foremost a struggle with the heart? Isn’t it possible to recognize a woman’s beauty at all levels and not wander into places in our heart that are out of bounds? 

This is NOT what is communicated, when we are sent the constant message that we are weak, lustful creatures, who need women to dress differently in order to protect us from our poor uncontrollable masculine responses. 

 Read the rest here.

Auntie Seraphic Does It Again

Have we mentioned yet how much we love Auntie Seraphic? No? Well, on a scale of line-dried sheets to Jane Austen, she's right below Jane Austen. By that much.

Funny But Sad

{H/T: Modestia}

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

After reading an excerpt from Kay Hymowitz' "Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys" in the Wall Street Journal, I was intrigued, placed it on hold at the library and added it to my ever-growing summer reading list. It sounded like an interesting premise, and judging from the excerpt, a pretty even-handed treatment of the topic. Did it live up to its promise? Weeeellllllll.... It's certainly one of the most interesting books I've read in a while. 

Hymowitz starts out with her definition of the "preadult", the 20-something who's half child, half adult, stranded between school and a solid career. How did we get to the preadult? Hymowitz lays out two primary factors, the Industrial and Sexual Revolutions. One changed the culture's idea of work and its purpose, creating the free-time necessary for a college degree and its resultant "knowledge economy jobs"; the other completely changed the script when it came to marriage, family and children. From this basis, Hymowitz examines how women have flourished in this new career playing field. Not surprising, since the technological advancements of the Industrial Revolution freed women from much of the domestic drudgery and the Sexual Revolution "liberated" women from children and a husband. Men on the other hand? They've retreated to their man-caves with a beer in one hand and a remote in the other. Think Knocked Up, beer pong, frat parties and Adam Sandler movies, among other things. Why?

Is it because women were the primary beneficiaries of the two Revolutions? Did second-wave feminists raise daughters to aggressively pursue degrees and careers that were once the sole province of men? Or are women just better at the knowledge-based career world that bloomed in the last half of the 20th century? Hymowitz explores all of these possibilities, as well as what the preadult phenomenon has meant for men and women in the boardroom and the bedroom. She ends her book by acknowledging that, while most women seem to still desire marriage and children, the growing bloc of "choice mothers" (those who employ sperm banks instead of the crude child-man) will probably become the norm. She ends by stating that

"men may have lost the clarity of previous eras' script for growing up, but that does not mean that the only alternative is to hang out in a playground of drinking, hooking up, playing Halo 3, and underachieving. They can still choose to keep their eyes on the things that will lead to a meaningful life." 

In other words, it's the guys' fault for not adapting and evolving to fit this new model of society where women don't really need them as husband, father or breadwinner. And yet puzzlingly enough, in the next paragraph, Hymowitz acknowledges that "with nobody expecting anything of them, men get worse." That's right, man, I don't really need you because I am woman, hear me roar. I have a satisfying career, a chic apartment, friends, everything I need. Well, actually I kinda need your sperm cause I want kids. But I don't want you cause you're gross and crude and immature. Somehow, Hymowitz fails to see the connection between the evaporation of the expectations placed on men by the previous societal life-script and the resultant slob who appeared after women decided that they didn't really need men performing in their traditional roles.

One other thing that bothered me: besides Hymowitz' obviously irritating stance that contraception did women a favor by "liberating" them from children, I also threw my hands heavenward over her dichotomy of the guys women date (or don't date, as the case were). She gives the reader two types: the sensitive, so-called-nice guy*, who's thoughtful and in touch with his feminine side, supposedly the ideal man in a post-feminist-revolt world; the other is the man's man (as Hymowitz defines him), the kind of guy who notches his bedpost and uses something called "Game" to score women without a shred of feeling. She sees no middle ground between these two kinds of men, and finds it somewhat puzzling that women don't seem to be attracted to the sensitive man, but are rather drawn to the so-called macho man. I found it most irritating that she defined the manly man, the man's man, as the slimeball in the second example. That is not a manly man; that is a cad (<== lovely, descriptive word, that). Ascribing such things as "respect" and "care" to her "nice guy", Hymowitz paints a picture of the manly man as an arrogant, neanderthal jerk. And that's just not true. Neither of her two options sound at all appealing, and I've had just enough experience with guys to know that there's a third type, the gentleman, and with all due respect to Ms. Hymowitz and her well-placed indignation over the Gamers, that's the kind of man I want.

So while I found "Manning Up" to be a fairly informative if somewhat frenetic attempt to cover all the bases, Hymowitz' failure to offer any satisfying conclusion to the question she poses disappointed me. I did enjoy reading the book. It's not your typical summer read, but it has offered me quite a bit to think about.

--------------------------------

*Nice?! *snorts of indignation* One such "nice" guy that she quotes is miffed because "you [the average preadult woman] ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy." Yeah. Cause I call a guy nice when he gives me emotional satisfaction only with the ultimate expectation that I'll sleep with him. Good call on that definition of nice, Ms. Hymowitz

Advent: Week I

Subtitle: How God's Really Good About Telling You What You Need To Hear When You Need To Hear It.

Today I walked into Mass feeling frustrated and disoriented. There's so much in my life that I'm not excelling at, that I want to happen now, events and situations that I want to occur instantly. My perpetual impatience was getting the better of me again. I went in, thinking: "How long, God? Why does everything in this life take forever?"

I was wrapped up in my own self-pitying interior monologue, when the priest started his homily with the sentence: "We are here to engage in subversive activity." I snapped out of my trance and paid rapt attention from then on-I was intrigued. What subversive activity were we engaging in exactly? His answer: Advent. Essentially, his homily was about the absence of Advent in our society. Our American society is in an obesity epidemic, yes, but the real epidemic, the root of all these problems, is the epidemic of perpetual adolescence. We have lost all sense of self-control, of self-denial, of delayed gratification. We have to have whatever we want and whenever we want it-a.k.a. NOW. We have an awful difficulty telling ourselves "no" or even "not now, later."

Clearly, he continued, a culture that has this attitude has no use for Advent. And a culture that lacks the foresight to look to the good in the future, even when the present is glum, lacks hope. When he said that, the sadness of our current cultural situation struck me. How awful and how true-our culture is a culture that lacks hope. We grasp onto whatever immediate pleasure we can because all too soon the moment will pass and we'll be left empty again. Human beings simply can't live hope-it's human nature to always be able to look down to the end of the dark tunnel and see that light. Our culture has lost the light of hope-we're lost in the darkness of the tunnel. What an awful idea-a life void of hope.

As I listened to these words, I realized they were exactly what I needed to hear. My own outlook had been sadly lacking in hope, trust, or any sort of virtue besides adolescent impatience. God's timing is the best timing, and although it may be difficult for me to always follow, He knows best. Thus, my new Advent resolution is to join the subversives, and cultivate an Advent-like attitude of patience, trust, and hope. Engage in subversive activity: celebrate Advent!

Countdown to Christmas Day:

22 days

See? We're Not the Only Ones

Interesting article in the StarTribune on Thursday about a group of women who vowed to wear more dresses this summer. Coincidence, or are women finally tired of the jeans-and-T-shirt look that has become a staple of our grunge culture?

Speaking of the Summit...

While avoiding the Archimedes props that I need to learn for the Lab final, I found this article by Raquel Welch about changing sexual mores in America after the advent of the Pill in the 60's. What's really interesting is that she doesn't approach the issue from an explicitly religious perspective, but she still doesn't think that all is sunshine and roses because of contraception and female empowerment.

Hat tip for the article to Father Longenecker.

News from the Outside

While reading the newspaper a month ago, I came across an op-ed piece that would have been just another LA Times column were it not for the very last paragraph of the article. The author, who interestingly enough is a man, offers a thought that I didn't expect to see coming from this paper.

"Women civilize men. As a general rule, men will only be as civilized as female expectations and demands will allow. "Liberate" men from those expectations, and "Lord of the Flies" logic kicks in."

There's even a nod to the fact that not all "liberated women" (his words) proudly embrace the label "feminist" without reserve.

Full article here.

(Once I finally got around to posting this, the author, Jonah Goldberg, had another interesting column on the differences between "monsters" and "victims". As he puts it, "monster stories once told us that evil exists and that we shouldn't assume all motives are good and kind. [...] Meanness is no longer innate, it's the unfortunate side effect of being misunderstood, the forgivable self-defense mechanism of victims." Even Cookie Monster has suffered. Plus, he works in the Greek word telos, or final purpose of a thing. Major kudos for him.)

But the Flesh is Weak

I found this wonderful video through Modestia:



And here's the website:

http://loveyourflawz.com/

This is such an awesome reminder that we don't need to be "perfect" or anorexic or covered in hairspray, airbrushed makeup and WD-40 to be beautiful.

I was talking with a friend recently about beauty. Everyone has a unique beauty all their own.
God is an infinite source of Beauty, and He's poured His beauty into creation. Obviously, because creation is finite, it cannot possibly contain all His Beauty, but God's beauty manifests itself in each created thing-from the smallest flower to the tallest mountain. And, in an even more particular way, in us. God has an infinite amount of beauty, and He's given each of us our own particular way of sharing in His beauty. Each of us manifests the beauty of God in a singular way that no one else in this world possibly could. God has so much beauty to pour out into the world, how could He possibly create something or someone that lacks beauty?

It simply isn't possible.

"You may not think you're beautiful enough, but Someone does. And that Someone made sunsets."---A Wise Woman I Have the Privilege of Knowing

This is a lovely article I was sent this past week. It's from a blog called "To Write Love on Her Arms," and here's a little sneak preview:

In honor of National Eating Disorders Awareness week, we wanted to share a beautiful story written by a former TWLOHA intern, Stephanie Koszalka. Please read it and enjoy remembering that your life and your story are powerful. No self-determined imperfection can change that.

Dear Body,

I’ve always let some imperfection or another stand in the way of me seeing what you truly are, that you are beautiful. You are a divine creation housing the most valuable thing known to the universe, my soul. I’m beginning to realize that a person’s soul has the capacity to radiate light that transcends all the characteristics that I have been conditioned to believe are flaws.

Prettiness is only skin deep...

I love going to Plugged in Online. If I want to see a movie, and I want to figure out exactly why it has a PG-13 rating, I can go to Plugged in, and find out every single possible thing in the movie that could ever be declared objectionable. They'll list every swear word that's said, every glass of wine drunk, and every lie told. If I want to know if a certain music album is any good, I'll just head to Plugged in to look at the music reviews. But it's articles like this one that cement my undying love for Plugged in.