Prayer Before Study

Reblogging because FINALS.

Prayer of St. Thomas Aquinas before Study

 O ineffable Creator,

Who, out of the treasure of Thy wisdom,

hast ordained three hierarchies of Angels,

and placed them in wonderful order above the heavens,

and hast most wisely distributed the parts of the world;

Thou, Who are called the true fountain of light and wisdom,

and the highest beginning,

vouchsafe to pour upon the darkness of my understanding,

in which I was born,

the double beam of Thy brightness,

removing from me all darkness of sin and ignorance.

Thou, Who makest eloquent the tongue of the dumb, 

instruct my tongue, 

and pour on my lips the grace of Thy blessing.

Give me quickness of understanding, 

capacity of retaining,

subtlety of interpreting,

facility in learning, 

and copious grace of speaking.

Guide my going in, 

direct my going forward, 

accomplish my going forth; 

through Christ our Lord. 

Amen.

Embarking on Adventure

"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered." ~G.K. Chesterton

So, I'm sitting in the basement of my dorm, waiting to find out where I'm going to room next year. And I was grumbling under my breath: " blarrrggghhhhh" And then I thought, "What a major inconvenience." And then I thought: "Correction: what an adventure." And it definitely is an adventure. Coming in freshman year and having your roommate for the year randomly chosen for you is also an adventure. I've been lucky enough that my roomie's been a comfort and a support this year. Who doesn't mind when I accidentally knock over trash bins in the room when I come in at 2:00 in the morning. That's called patience, my friends. And I think it takes a lot of that stuff to live with me.

So, now the adventure continues. So, here we sit. Casting dirty looks at any girls who mention thinking about considering eyeing the rooms where we want to live. Stressing out about how many doubles are left. Fretting. Worrying. And then, at some point, a giant wave of apathy slides over us and we cease caring. Stressing out is exhausting.

That said, it's much easier to stress out about an inconvenience than to turn it into an adventure. It's much a much lazier choice to stress out about life and it's little sorrows and setbacks than to think of them as steps of an awesome journey. Ever since the beginning of the semester, I've felt that God's leading me to a grand adventure. And then I realized: right now is the adventure. All the little triumphs and sorrows of daily life are the adventure. As Jo sings in the musical Little Woman: "My great adventure has begun." My adventure is well-underway. I'm entering into the last quarter of freshman year. This adventure has started. And I'm ready for it.

Warning: Finals Approaching

A short apology for not posting more frequently: I've been sick, there's always a load of homework, and no internet access over Thanksgiving being just a few of my excuses. And, with finals swiftly approaching in a week and a half, I probably won't be back to posting until I'm home over Christmas break.

That being said, I do have two projects in the works: a review of Pan's Labyrinth and my thoughts on Lord Peter Wimsey (preview: I love him!). They may even get posted earlier if I'm feeling rebellious and don't want to study my Harvey. I may even throw in my thoughts on The Barber of Seville (I'm going to see it on Sunday). You have been warned.

Craziest Day of My Life!

And that's saying something!

So, this morning I was doing my physics like the industrious student that I am,

*looks angelic*

when my mother came down and handed me the phone. It was the stage manager for Alice in Wonderland. She told me: "So...[the girl who plays the Caterpillar/Alice's Sister (who I'm understudying)] isn't feeling well today. They're going to try to get her better before tonight's show, but I just wanted to make sure you were prepared to go on." I was pretty much in a state of shock at that point, so I murmured my "Okays" "Mhhhmmms" and "Of courses" without thinking. As soon as I hung up, I recalled that this was the one night that I had a conflict with the show!!! I had to go to work!

*smacks head*

So, I called the SM back immediately, and told her I had to work(I'd told them about the conflict when I agreed to understudy, so that was all good). But, I promised I would contact work and see if there was any way possible to get my shift covered. I was pretty darn sure the answer would be no. They had told us at a meeting that we wouldn't be able to find subs for the Halloween event-they were short-staffed as it was.

Soooooo....yeah....

I finally got a hold of work, and instead of saying: "Sorry, NO." like I expected her to, my boss said: "Welllllll, I'll see what we can do..." We tried to work stuff out, but we couldn't find anyone who wasn't working that night who could cover for me. Eventually, I said: " You know what? It's okay. I'll just come on in to work as normal." So, I called the stage manager-she was completely understanding, but I could tell she was very, ridiculously, horribly stressed. I felt terrible, but I went off to work.

In the car, my cell phone rang-it was my work. They had decided to let me off, so I'd be able to do the show! So, I went in for the first hour and a half of my shift, then rushed off to do Alice. I've never heard anyone sound as relieved as that stage manager did when I called her to tell her the news!

So, then there was the small task of memorizing lines. Eep. The thing is, I only learned about a week ago that I was understudying this show. And the first and only time I've seen the show was on Tuesday. So, in the car, in between driving and practicing my lines, I was praying my head off. Today was one of those days that I totally felt that God had to be in control. Because I for sure wasn't.

Somehow, thanks to the wonderful, amazing cast, I made it through the show. I'm sure my guardian angel was having the time of his life helping me out! It was just crazy. There was this moment during the preshow when I was sitting on the stage reading a book, and I realized-this was it. This wasn't just pretend. I couldn't put the show on time-out, and run check my script really quick. This was the real deal, and I somehow had to get through the whole thing, no matter how badly I goofed things up. Thankfully, I didn't goof things up too horribly. It was crazy, wild and insane, but somehow God just guided me through it.

I think these are the days that I live for. This is why I love theatre-it's messy and imperfect and ridiculous, but somehow it all works out, and something beautiful is created. It's kind of like life-somehow God makes a work of art out of our confusing, lovely, and often crazy lives. We just have to trust Him and be not afraid.

College...

College

Give a girl an education and introduce her properly into the world, and ten to one but she has the means of settling well, without further expense to anybody.
Jane Austen
Right now college means one thing to me:

applications

which of course equal:

loads and loads of work.

Writing essays, I'm fine with. What was really starting to get to me was the neverending checking boxes, filling out the SAME information over and over, squeezing words into limited spaces, number crunching, etc., etc., etc. in never ending succession!

*insert plaintive sigh here*

And furthermore, the endless and monolithic process known as "APPLYING TO COLLEGES" takes up lots of TIME.

*insert groan here*

Time that could be spent enjoying oneself, laughing and talking with friends, scrapbooking, journaling, going for a walk, or any other infinitely more enjoyable activity.

So. Those were my feelings up until about 5:00 today.

After having to cancel my second outing with a friend this week, I decided that if I was going to have to stay home and work on these college applications, I jolly well would. And I would finish my calculus homework, even if it killed me, and I would not waste the afternoon on Facebook or the forum; I would sit down and get stuff done. I was not going to sacrifice my time with friends just to waste more time. So help me, I was going to get some actual work done.

So, on the way home from my show this afternoon, I stopped by my church's Eucharistic adoration chapel. It was lovely and peaceful, and I sat in front of Jesus, finishing up my calc homework. I've always found the adoration chapel is the best place to work through my problems. I now know that math problems can be worked out there as well.
Then, I got home, and I sat down at the computer and I got my first college application submitted! One down. Five to go. I can do this.

And, I realized I've been letting my laziness get in my way. There were some points over the past week I was debating whether college was really worth it or not. In reality, though, I was just bogged down in the mire of applications, and also, scared of leaving home, friends, and family. Then, I realized how absolutely stupid I was being. Because, I AM excited for college-I know it'll be awesome. Anything that is awesome won't come without hard work; and I hate to admit it, but hard work is an aquired taste for me. I have to teach myself to enjoy it.

And as for leaving friends, one of my favorite new quotes I discovered is Eleanor Roosevelt's: “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” I can leave home and all the people I love and care about won't leave me-their footprints will be in my heart.

*insert violin music here*

Now, I'm feeling ready to tackle these remaining applications with all my heart. Wish me luck! And when I get to the end of this adventure, let's have coffee together. :)

Weekend!

Ah, yes, Thank God It's Friday. And I mean that in the best possible sense. Thank you, God, for creating the Weekend. Because school is stressful, and sometimes I just need...nothing: a day on which I can take a blanket outside (it's southern California; it still gets up to the 80's here in the afternoon), curl up with a book, and fall asleep while I pretend to do homework.

Let's face it; I will probably end up screaming insanely at a pile of books sometime in the next month. Don rags are in two weeks (sort of a "constructive criticism" meeting with all of your tutors), our bug project is due on Monday, there are props to learn, books to read, lines to memorize, our seminar paper gets assigned on Tuesday, and so on and so forth. I'm already looking forward to Thanksgiving break, which will not occur for another month and a half.

On the positive side, I was able to spend some time in Adoration last night/early this morning. The college has a tradition of all night Adoration the night before the first Friday of the month. It was incredibly beautiful. The chapel, which could be considered a small church, was packed full of people -- at midnight. There was complete silence, and the presence of God was tangible in a way that sent goosebumps up and down my arms. The feeling was almost one of being wrapped in an enormous blanket, cocooned away from the world and all of its cares, worries, and responsibilities.

And what better way to read the Bible than in the presence of God? Only with this book can you take it directly to the author and say, "Dear Lord, I'm very confused. What the heck did you mean by this, that, and the other thing?" Jesus also helps tremendously with props, no blackboard required. Sleep, coffee, and brains are all secondary.