If Music Be the Food of Love...

...then by all means, stop the music, burn the pianos, and shoot the composer.

We all have those moments.

When we just feel like breaking down...

When we just want to cry our hearts out...

When love (ha! Love. PUh-LEEZE.) is not helping. It's just. not. helping. It's just tearing your heart to shreds and making your eyes red with tears.

When those times hit, these are what I listen to:

NB: You may notice many of these songs are in the form of Pride and Prejudice fan videos. You will remember my previous comments about my *ahem* extensive researching...

S Club 7! British pop group...I love this song so dearly.


I first heard this when I was performing in PostSecret at Stages. I absolutely loved this song-it played at the dramatic climax of the play, and it fit so well. Ingrid Michaelson is an awesome singer/songwriter-I'm officially a fan.


This song makes me cry with joy. Some music has the power to reduce you to tears-and this is totally one of them!


I do dearly love Leona Lewis-these are my two favorites of her songs:



Hooray for North and South! I will admit that I love this more for the video than the music sometimes. XD

Ummm...what more can I say? This is the ultimate heartbreak song. Again, I listened to this a TON during PostSecret, since the director mentioned to me that this was one of the songs that reminded her of my character.

(P.S. I very, very much enjoy the Disney video that goes along with this song. :D)

A Few of My Favorite Things

When people ask me for my favorite song, I usually get stumped. There are so many songs-how do you ever narrow it down!?!?
These are a few songs, however, that never fail to excite me when I hear them play. They are all definitely on the "Constantly Singing Them All the Time Until They Annoy People and They Get Them Stuck in Their Heads" playlist. I'm thinking that most of you won't be surprised by what's on here-I'm pretty vocal about my love for them!

So, to begin:

I first heard this while riding in a friend's car, and I've loved it ever since. It' from the '70's, I think. It's an oldie. :)


I can't help but admit I love this song. The first time I heard it, I was in Claire's (I'm making myself sound like a stereotypical teenage girl here...) and I stopped dead in my tracks and started tearing up. True story.



This song makes me smile. Most of these songs have a story behind them, but I honestly cannot remember when I first heard this song. But it's one of my long-time favorites!



I love this one! So sweet. I found this one while doing Pride & Prejudice research during the spring. A ton of my character research took the form of watching Youtube fan videos. That's what we theatre professionals call method acting, my friends. It's how the greats operate. How do you think Meryl Streep wins all those Oscars, people? She ain't no improv artist. It's Research. Extensive Research.


I love this song. Like many good songs, it was introduced to me by my sister. I sang this constantly over the summer, after she first played it for me when we picked her up from ND.


You gotta love the Backstreet Boys! This song makes my heart melt.



There's really nothing to say, except that this is one of the most amazing songs ever! When I feel particularly joyful, I start singing it to God-it's a good song to start singing during adoration. Try it sometime. :)



P.S. I love Jason Mraz!-he's super funny, and he's got such a unique voice. I heart him muchly.

And last, but most certainly never least!
Again, you can blame my dear sister for my obsession with this one. I drove my family absolutely bonkers by singing it constantly this past spring. Literally, if I woke up in the morning and I sang just one line from the song, it would be stuck in my head the whole day. I literally could not stop singing it. Not even during rehearsals, as Celia and Portia can attest to!


And, if you want to hear the bestest song ever, click here. Unfortunately, youtube won't let me embed the video... siiiiighhh...

So there you have it! My go-to songs that never fail to make me happy. I love music. It's fantastic stuff.

Coming soon...my Lovesick playlist!

Jesus still suffers more

30 minutes ago my guardians informed me that this week is the week that I will go to trial against my oldest brother. I've been anxiously dreading yet hoping for this week for 2 years. Less than a month ago the district attorney informed us that my brother's attorney had to put off the case because he needed to go to California for another trial. That California trial settled this past week, and my case will continue as planned. At the moment, I feel like screaming, sobbing, and breaking things, but I can't. I've remained this strong for a very long time, and will continue to do so until it's all over and I can allow myself to feel free to be vulnerable to pain. I can't express how scared I am to face my brother. I wish he would come with a bag over his head so I didn't have to see his face. I don't hate him, but I feel repulsed by him. I had hoped God would spare me this, but sometimes what we want isn't what God wants. Who knows what will come out of this. Maybe God will help me look at my brother in a different light. Maybe this is the best time to truly begin to face forgiveness, even though I have no idea how to go about it. How do you forgive something so terrible that it makes your body cringe in disgust? I don't know. I don't think I can ever know until I let go and let God show me. I think I'm frightened to start the process of forgiving my brother because it means I will have to face everything. I will have to come to terms with what happened. I will have to accept it. I will have to, for a while at least, look at myself and stop pretending that I'm normal, that I haven't been hurt, that I'm perfectly fine.

The funny thing is--I am happy. I happy because I am held by Jesus. I'm happy because Jesus is in love with me, and I'm in love with Him. I'm happy because no matter how much I suffer, He suffers along too. I'm not alone, even though I may feel alone. How can one stay miserable and depressed when their best friend, their lover, their life-long companion is always by their side? Jesus is so good. There have been so many times when I've hurt Him, but He's never let me go. I would be dead if He ever let me go.

This week I will have to watch my mother stick by my brother's side. I will have to actually watch my entire biological family stick by my brother's side. I left my family. I told their secrets. I am in their eyes a traitor. I'm not sure how deep the wound will go this time. I've laughed it off so many times before, perhaps I will do it again.

I need prayers. Even just a few Our Father's or Hail Mary's. I need all of heaven holding me right now, otherwise I fear I might break. Isn't it strange how strong humans are, yet in an instant they can become as frail as a delicate piece of china glass? I'm glad that even if we do break, Jesus already knows how to put the pieces back together.

IS THE CROSS YOU WEAR TOO HEAVY TO BEAR?
>
> Complainingly I told myself,
> "this cross is too heavy to wear"
> And I wondered discontentedly
> why God gave it to me to bear.
> And I looked with envy at others
> whose crosses seemed lighter than mine
> And wished that I could change my cross
> for one of a lighter design -
> And then, in a dream, I beheld the cross
> I impulsively wanted to wear,
> It was fashioned of pearls and diamonds
> and gems that were precious and rare.
> And when I hung it around my neck
> the weight of the jewels and the gold
> Was much too heavy and cumbersome
> for my small, slender neck to hold -
> So I tossed it aside and before my eyes
> was a cross of rose-red flowers
> And I said with delight as I put it on,
> "this cross I can wear for hours" -
> For it was so dainty and fragile,
> so lovely and light and thin,
> But I had forgotten about the thorns
> that started to pierce my skin -
> And then in my dream I saw "my cross,"
> rugged and old and plain,
> That clumsy old cross I had looked upon
> with discontented disdain -
> And at last I knew that God had made
> this "special cross for me,"
> For God in His great wisdom knew
> what I before could not see,
> That often the loveliest crosses
> are the heaviest crosses to bear,
> For only God is wise enough
> to choose the cross we can wear -
> So never complain about YOUR CROSS,
> for your cross has been blessed,
> God made it JUST FOR YOU to wear
> and remember, GOD KNOWS BEST!
>

Enjoy Saturday, college applications, college, and whatever else today holds for ya'll.

I declare that every human being needs to read The Imitation of Christ. The thing I love about this book is that there is always something in there to help you with a particular vice/obstacle/frustration. It's so handy to just be able to pick it up and instantly find a way to solve a problem. A big yay for Jesus and Thomas A. Kempis!

I went to Fuddruckers tonight with Jimmy. Did they absolutely have to name it that? No, they didn't, but they did anyway. We have to do a different penance because we ate meat on a Friday, but we've both been terribly sick and haven't had a complete meal for days (at least I haven't). I think that being around Ken and Jim all day is enough penance for a lifetime, however. Hehe, just kidding. Brothers will be brothers. :)

Fashion anyone?















If you could choose one of these outfits, which one would it be?

Guilty Pleasures...

Let's admit it.

We all have out guilty pleasures.

What is a guilty pleasure? Merriam-Webster defines it
Main Entry: guilty pleasure
Function: noun
Date: 1907
: something pleasurable that induces a usually minor feeling of guilt.

No duh.

So, finding that entry unhelpful, I betook myself to that noble lexicon of modern slang:

Urban Dictionary.
This is how Urban Dictionary defines a "guilty pleasure":
1. Something that you shouldn't like, but like anyway.
2. Something that you love to do, but you just cannot admit that you do it.
Guy 1: "DUDE, you still watch Pokemon?"
Guy 2: "WHAT? NO! Ok, I do, its my guilty pleasure.
4. Keeping a secret collection of ABBA and Carpenters and listening to their albums when no one else is around.


So, yeah, I think we all get the general idea. (Here's when you're thinking-"Renee, get to the point already!!")
So, what's my guilty pleasure?

Avatar.
Avatar-The Last Airbender.

Laugh all you want. I see you all rolling your eyes. I can't help myself-I love my Avatar. I discovered this delightfully delightful television series at the beginning of the summer, when I began working at NU. Our first training sessions were "character research days" where we watched the shows of the Nick characters that the park owns.

Did I ever mention what a physically demanding and taxing job I have? Riiiiiiigggghhht.

One of my fellow trainees was flabbergasted when I mentioned that I'd never heard of Avatar before. Honestly, I've never seen someone so disturbed. So, we watched an episode of Avatar. I was seriously unimpressed. However, I fit the Aang costume, and I'd probably have to cohort Aang, so I figured I should probably be somewhat knowledgeable about the series. Thus, in the spirit of being a good, well-informed employee, I reserved the first few episodes from the library. While I watched them in the comfort of my living room, a quiet, sneaky little thought stirred within my mind- "I'm actually kind of enjoying these," it whispered. I laughed superciliously, and quickly quashed that queer qualm.

And then promptly reserved the rest of Season One.




(Or, rather, I should say "Book One." Avatar seasons are called 'books,' and the episodes are called 'chapters.' Random Avatar fact you probably didn't want to know...but now you do!)

Anyhow, over the summer, I've fallen more and more in love with Avatar. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry (no joke. I don't kid about these things! :)), and it's made me practice my earth-bending moves on my long-suffering and ever-patronizing younger brother.

The series main premise is such: it takes place in a fantasy world, where there are four nations, named after the four different elements: air, earth, water, and fire. Certain people can be trained to 'bend' the elements; bending is a martial art-not magic. Nickelodeon's adamant that it's not magic(I learned this by reading the big blue folder at work that is filled with all sorts of inside information about Nick shows-they call it the "Nick Bible.") Anyhow, the basic plot is that Aang (that strange, hyper, bald kid with the random blue arrow on his forehead) has to master all four elements, defeat the power-crazed fire lord, and save the world.

Oh, yeah.

He's twelve.

No sweat, right?

When I was twelve, all that was expected of me was that I make my bed, do my school, and not pick fights with my younger siblings.

Moral of the story is that Avatar=EPIC. (I know you hate that word, Cordelia, but it's the only one that does it justice! :)) I just finished the the series, and I was on the edge of my seat with excitement at the end. My brother rolled his eyes.

But he was watching intently.

Here's betting that he'll be ordering some Avatar episodes from the library soon.

Sickness, attack of the snowflakes, and a newcomer

Dear me, I woke up at 6:00am to shower, finish my homework, get ready, and head off to school. Instead, I went back to bed at 6:45 because I felt really sick. How does motivated energy turn into sickness? Maybe it was because of the brownie and taco I had for breakfast. What? Brownies and tacos are a better combination than you might think--just not for breakfast, apparently. Anyway, I woke up to a winter wonderland. It's not even winter. Does Minnesota and autumn have a bad relationship? They must. Minnesota just decided to skip autumn. I bet autumn is sorely needing the attention of people declaring their love of the beautifully colored trees, the crisp air, the warm apple cider, the freshly picked apples, the pumpkins, etc. Thanks for ruining our beloved season, Minnesota. Now we just have to skip right to sledding, hot cocoa, warm, fuzzy blankets, crackling fires, cozy jackets, and frozen feet (I happen to lack necessary footwear for winter). Lovely.

Oh, I'm a newcomer. Almost all of you already know this. The name is Cordelia. Call me Cord. Or Delia (add an apostrophe and a 's' to it and you have "Delia's", which is a very cute clothing store). Or Cordel. Or Del. Or Lia. Whichever one you prefer. I plan to make your lives happier with my blogs. Aren't I so very generous? I think so. Here's for starters:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkHV6THFoDs

I don't have a quotebook, but...

Although without a quotebook, I do have a blog! So here are some funny things that some people I know said last night:

When you have time to waste, waste it(Nathan Swenson)

The seasons are summer, fall, and Christmas (Alex Fink)

http://issuu.com/inkandfairydust/docs/issue_2/10?mode=a_p

Happy Sunday Girls. Good Sabbath and all that. The above link is to a newspaper made by a Regina Daman fan(you probably have already seen it). On page ten there is information for requesting the Fairty Tale novels to our library system. So, in all your spare time, and if you have not already done it, please request that the Fairy Tale novels come to the Hennepin County Library System. All the numbers and information for all four books are there!

Our Insectoid Friends

*drumroll*

At long last, as promised, the bug project. We began our year by reading excerpts from J. Henri Fabre's insect writings. It was fascinating, not just Fabre's observations of insects, but also his method, his style of writing, and his editorializing of mundane bug facts.

But Thomas Aquinas College is not merely a book-reading school. We also have hands-on learning. Which means that you get to go out and catch bugs. And kill them. And pose them. And classify them. And present them. And then burn them (last step optional).

Step 1: Collect Equipment

We begin our freshman bug project in the lab, equipping our teams with the latest in humane forms of catch-and-kill known to man, namely a mesh net and a kill-jar. "What is a kill jar?" you may ask. I will tell you. A kill-jar is (as the name implies) a jar. A layer of porous something covers the bottom. You then pour acetate onto said porous layer, and -- voila -- you have a kill-jar equipped for the extermination of those nasty bugs via toxic fumes. (Do not stand directly over the kill-jar, and do not sniff it. You WILL end up with an annoying headache which does not help your understanding of theology.)

Step 2: Catch the Bugs

You have many choices in this department. You can use the net, but as you only have access to the lab and specialized equipment at set times during the week, you may want to improvise if you see a glorious swallowtail when you have nothing. This might indeed include cups, tape, tupperware containers, envelopes, and, if you are so unlucky as to encounter a Jerusalem cricket
aka potato bug:



without any container, it might involve the use of your hands.

Step 3: Kill the Bug

Once you have captured the bug, you transfer him very, very, very carefully to the kill-jar and let him asphyxiate. If he's a large bug, it might take awhile. Like two or three days. Or, you can always freeze him. Just make sure you label the container; otherwise, someone might throw out your praying mantis.

Step 4: Pose the Bug

This is fairly simple step, as long as you don't mind touching bugs. You arrange the legs and wings, if any, in a pose that suits your fancy. Don't forget to pierce the thorax with a pin while you're at it. Of course, they're not always dead when you take them out of the kill-jar, just...stunned a little.

Sub-step 4b:

If you opted to kill your bug by freezing the poor little sucker to death, it might dry out a bit, making posing nigh on impossible. What you do then is rehydrate the bug. Either pop it in the shower room for a few hours, or boil some water on the hotplate and, uh, steam the bug (it's a praying mantis in case you can't tell):



Step 5: Classify

Another simple step: just arrange your bugs into groups according to some principle. My partner and I chose wing type and how it relates to the type of food they eat. Ours was a fairly boring topic. Some classified their bugs according to vehicles (the cricket is the ice cream truck because you hear it before you see it), others according to temperament. It turns out I'm a butterfly-moth hybrid.

Step 6: Present your Project

The tutor will be taking notes throughout your presentation, the other students in your section will snicker at some of your classifications, and your prize dragonfly's rear end will drop off mid-presentation. Good luck with that.

Step 7: Burn the ---- thing

This is for those of you who did not get 36's on the ACT and who flipped out when the grasshopper started attacking you.

FINIS