"A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.
[...]
All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough."Read the rest here.
Wow!!! I have no idea how to process this. Home schooling has some of the benefits of the "Asian" parent, such as the parents being involved and the mothers in the trenches. However, isn't the "Asian" style a little too rough. It is obvious they are getting results though.
ReplyDeleteUmm *contemplates*
One of my professors last semester had an entire philosophy about how learning should not be fun. He thought that Sesame Street(and shows like it) had destroyed America by protraying learning as being fun. He thinks that learning is hard work and involves much memorization.
I think the only answer to this should be to pray and focus on the spiritual life. The virtue of honesty seems to be the key to the problem. The "Asian" and the "Western" forms of parenting both seem to avoid being completely honest. One style calls their children names and overpraises them, the other one is afraid to tell/face the truth.
On a completely different note, this article just impressed me with how hard parenting can be.
^I second that. Especially the point about neither form of parenting being exactly honest. And obviously if you focus on spiritual formation, then there's no reason why any form of parenting wouldn't work.
ReplyDeleteMy first reaction to this article was definitely definitely one of askance. But after thinking about it, I realized it's simply a cultural divide. This is a very different way of raising your children, and I don't think I could do it, because it's absolutely not how I was raised to do it. But, if it's what your culture supports, reinforces, and expects then I think it makes sense. Although, one issue that I have with it (and maybe this is my Western mind speaking), is that it seems to be obsessed with "succeeding" and "producing results." I suppose that after the child has accomplished their difficult task, then they are happy, and they probably feel incredibly confident. But I don't think I want my children to believe that their happiness depends on their success. Yes, I want them to believe that they can tackle a hard assignment, and do it well. And I believe that if you apply yourself, then you will do well. But isn't there more to life than just learning a piano piece perfectly, or getting perfect grades???? GAH. I don't know...
Hmm. Your professor's philosophy is interesting. I think the mistake is thinking that learning *needs* to be "fun" and if it's not, then what's the point? But there's a joy to learning, discovering, and gaining knowledge. And there's still joy when you're staying up late at night trying to drill and memorize Latin conjugations. There's still joy in the hard work and monotony. If you never discover that joy, then aren't you missing out on the whole point of learning?